Kids Writing About the Ocean

1) – This is a picture of an octopus.  It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) – Oysters’ balls are called pearls.  (Jerry, age 6)

3) – If you  are surrounded by ocean, you are an
island.  If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.  (Peter, age 7)

4) – Sharks  are ugly and mean, and have big
teeth, just like Emily Richardson.  She’s not my friend any more.  (Kylie, age 6)

5) – A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.  (Billy, age eight)

6) – My uncle  goes out in his boat with 2 other
men and a woman and pots and comes back  with crabs.  (Millie, age 6)

7) -When  ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean.  Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.  My brother
said they would have been better off eating beans.  (William, age 7)

8) – Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their  shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?  Like, really?  (Helen, age 6)

9) – I’m not  going to write about the ocean.  My baby brother is always crying, my Dad  keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)

10) – Some fish are dangerous.  Jellyfish can sting.  Electric eels can give you a  shock.  They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)

11) – When you  go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.  (Kevin, age 6)

12) – Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.  (Becky, age eight)

13) – On  vacation my Mom went water skiing.  She fell off when she was going very fast.  She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.  (Julie, age 7)

14) – The  ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown, I don’t know.  (Bobby, age 6)

15) – My dad was a sailor on the ocean.  He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t seem to know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.  (James, age 7)

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